I have been here before......

Tense, yelling, short tempered, nail biting, and heartBURN, ugh. I recognize this in my life well now, I am anxious, stressed, and not leaning on God as much as I should. We are just a little over three weeks until VBS (GASP, just looked I thought I still had 4, EEK) and my mind is whirling with to do's and what if's. I know it is going to be great, I just need to pray and remain calm, cool and focused which today I think I hit a low. 

Case in point: I warned T-man twice (and disciplined him twice) for hurting his sister, the third time I lost it... yelled, spanked, and dragged him to time out, then yelled some more. Then got even angrier at his reaction and attiTUDE. Then I had the light bulb come on (again) that this child is mirroring me. It's that cliche "do as I say not as I do". I have been apologizing to them A LOT lately and today was no exception. We did have a better day after that and I could see they were mirroring the calm, cool, and focused me again but remorse has set in.

I don't know why I do this to myself but a wise chicka once told me sometimes things have to fall or hit bottom for God to (or for us to let Him) pick us back up again. It is a tough lesson to learn, over and over again. Hopefully, I will get it this time and maybe my children won't need too much therapy.