Thursday, February 26, 2009

Teach them to suffer well

We just finished a study with our small group called "Effective Parenting in a Defective World" by Chip Ingram. It was really good, Chip Ingram and his ministry Living on the Edge (www.lote.org) really resonates with me. I also love that I can listen to it on my iPod. 

There were many great points from this study but the one that is sticking at this time is the lesson on teaching your kids to suffer well. In other words, instead of shielding them from life's disappointments and sorrows, teaching them to turn to God when times get hard. This is a challenge to do even as an adult much less imposing it as a parent. However, I can see the importance for us and for friends and family this year. 

Last night we had an incident with Toby. He didn't get a nap and was a little restless. We were watching our Cosby show before bed and he kept jumping and rolling around the couch (not watching the TV at all). So after a couple warnings, he was sent to bed. However, he was very unhappy and overtired and the fit that ensued was so disheartening. He was literally screaming and trying to pinch, hit, or kick us. I spanked him but then decided to just hold him down until he settled down. He finally did and I comforted him and told him how sad I was at the way he was acting. He was most upset because Abby got to stay up and he had to go to bed. He felt left out and though I felt bad for him, we stood our ground and did not let him get out of bed. In the end he was sad, he was sorry, and he still loved us too. 

I am not sure if this how Chip would approached it but I am confident that we need to continue to let them suffer whether it be with discipline and punishment or lessons about life and death. Not only to suffer but to turn to God in prayer with their hurt and questions. Even though it hurts us when our children hurt, this will better equip them to grow into adults that can deal with life's troubles through a relationship with Jesus. 

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